THROUGH UNTRUE
Christmas is traditionally a family day, but powerful forces and trends are undermining the family and the values that sustain it. For instance, an increasing number of couples choose to live together without marriage, convinced that their relationship will only endure as long as there are no children involved. Alternative family structures are proliferating, seeking the recognition they believe they deserve. Sexless procreation is gaining popularity, while procreation-less sex has become the preferred pastime of the youth.
Modern social scientists exacerbate this situation. The late social anthropologist Edmund Leach once remarked, "Far from being the basis of the good society, the family, with its narrow privacy and well-kept secrets, is the source of all discontent." Another scientist wrote that love, which is the foundation on which family life is built, is just the product of biological processes in the brain. Ignorance of these leads us to consider love as sacred, mysterious, or romantic.
Evolutionary psychologists chime in to discredit the common belief that marital fidelity makes a family stable and enduring. They declare that we human beings are not inherently moral animals. Infidelity is in our genes. Evolution demonstrates that monogamy is the exception rather than the rule. Movie and TV personalities, celebrities, and influencers lend support to this idea by shamelessly broadcasting their promiscuity and serial adultery.
The powerful media of communications are not far behind in bringing the family into disrepute. Time Magazine, a harbinger of American culture, has carried an essay describing the family as "a nest of pathology and a cradle of gruesome violence." After citing examples of crimes committed in the family, the author concludes, "Statistically, the home is the most dangerous place for a woman and a child."
Also, while electronic gadgets and cell phones have enhanced communication, their adverse effect on family dynamics is now being felt. Family members are becoming dependent on virtual interactions which are often very superficial. The constant need to check and update one's online presence can fragment attention and divert focus away from meaningful quality family time.
In our country, because of migration, more and more children are living in households with only one parent or no parent at all. There are pending bills in Congress that allow divorce and condone abortion. The legislators say, "Women are going to get abortions anyway, so to protect them, abortion must be made legal and safe." They forget someone—the unborn child—for whom no abortion will ever be safe.
Many therapy centers are sprouting everywhere to help adults and children recover from the damage inflicted on them by their dysfunctional families. But the late Karl Menninger, a distinguished psychotherapist, insisted that therapy can only go so far in addressing this problem. Therapy may cure the psychological trauma suffered by members of a family, but not the damage inflicted on it by their sins. For Menninger, sins, even those committed routinely and in secret, can destroy a family.
He, therefore, exhorts us to seek, not only the healing of individuals but the healing of the family. How many of us pray for family healing? When you throw a stone into a pool, the ripples continue even after the stone has reached the bottom. Similarly, the ripple effect of personal sins, though already absolved on the level of the individual, will create needless anxiety and frustration that can extend to the whole family for future generations. Unless the family is healed, there will be no lasting unity and peace among its members. What better time to pray for this, than during this season of Advent?