ENDEAVOR
On Feb. 23, 2023, the day after Ash Wednesday, the first day of the Lenten season on which the faithful received ashes on their forehead, Roberto ‘Bob’ Tolosa, my boyhood friend and high school classmate in Don Bosco Makati, shared this post in our Viber chat room:
Here’s what Pope Francis wants you to give up for Lent this year
Forget giving up the booze or the chocolates this Lent. Unless it helps someone more than yourself, it’s pointless. “No act of virtue can be great if it’s not followed by advantage for others. So no matter how much time you spend fasting, no matter how much you sleep on a hard floor and eat ashes and sigh continually, if you do no good to others, you do nothing great.” #LoveThisPope
I traced this post as I tried to piece together whatever I could to honor Bob’s memory. One of our classmates who had just returned to the US West Coast after attending our high school class of 1969 reunion texted me to say he had seen in Facebook news of Bob’s passing. Then another classmate sent the poster on which the terse announcement was made. Bob passed away on Saturday, Feb. 25, after suffering a heart attack at home.
Only last Nov. 27, 2022, Bob surfaced in our group chat room after a long, long absence. He and another classmate met up in a reunion among former officemates from an airline company, so that brought him into our loop. I sent him a private text message and he replied promptly. It turns out we both lived in the same area in Muntinlupa City.
He said: “I would be very happy to see you again. I am free most days, semi-retired. A new aircraft repair station (for a) cargo airline is being planned to be based either in Clark or Subic. I am part of the organizing team. I could be very busy again next week…Sure I will be very happy to be with friends and classmates again. Wala yata akong naging classmate from DBTI sa college in Feati U. Sige, set the date, please. Salamat.”
We finally met on Jan. 21, 2023 when he joined a reunion among about two dozen classmates – including a handful of balikbayan – at the Manila Boat Club in Sta. Ana. I was late and he welcomed me with a big hug and we started reminiscing over beer.
I had known Bob since we were in kindergarten in 1958. We lived in the same neighborhood in Pio del Pilar, Makati City, not too far from the Ayala business district. We went to school together in a carretela, then a half-hour ride through what is now Arnaiz Avenue (formerly Pasay Road), crossing the PNR railroad tracks and South Superhighway into Pasay City to our school, St. Mary’s Academy on P. Burgos Street in front of the old City Hall and Sta. Clara de Montefalco parish church. Then we both transferred to Don Bosco where we finished elementary and high school.
We met again last Feb. 7 in Villamor Air Base in another class reunion but I missed him at the get-together last Feb. 12 that turned out to be the last time he would be with our classmates.
I shared this reflection at his wake: Every death is in search of a reason or explanation for the benefit of those left behind. We know by faith that in death, “life is changed, not ended.” We say in our prayers, “And after this our exile, show unto us the fruit of thy womb Jesus.” Yet, death imposes a cruel, painful separation that is somewhat eased when friends and family gather together and share vivid, joyful stories of fellowship and treasured moments.
Bob took up machine shop as his technical course in Don Bosco and went on to obtain a degree in aeronautical engineering with specialization in aircraft maintenance technology. One of our classmates said his grandson looked forward to meeting with Bob who promised to share with the lad what he knew about repairing huge aircraft engines.
I find comfort in these lines penned by Richard Bach, author of the best-selling book Jonathan Livingston Seagull, an “allegorical fable in novella form about a seagull who is trying to learn about flying and, eventually, personal reflection, freedom, and self-realization”:
“Don’t be dismayed by goodbyes. Farewell is necessary so we can say hello again, and meeting again – after moments and lifetimes is certain, for those who are friends.”