Stories of strength, unwavering love, and sacrifice from single mothers
A mother’s love is unconditional. But as we get older, we tend to lose sight of how much they provide and sacrifice for us, especially in single-parent household, where it’s usually the mother who is left to do the work of at least two people. In the stories of these single mothers, we can truly see the strength, courage, and bravery mothers possess, all for the sake of their children.
Playing the balancing game
Finding a balance between life at home and work is just one of the many challenges single mothers must endure for their kids. Being a mom is already hard as it is, what if the mother has to be the father too?
It’s never easy, waking up early morning to prepare food before coming to the office and then rushing home at the end of the day, only to catch their children already sound asleep or still out with friends. Conversations are limited to phone calls in the afternoon and messages through Facebook in the evening.
There’s always guilt having to be away not only physically but also because of work commitments. But this is a small price to pay for moms whose main job is to financially support the family.
Jem, who had to quickly shift from being a housewife to a working mom, recounts her experience in the early years of her journey as a single mother. “You’re like a machine waking up to do the same routine. Life is a square, not a circle. It doesn’t turn like a wheel, because every day you only think about earning to support your children’s needs,” she says.
Despite these hardships, these single mothers are not alone. With them are their unwavering faith and a strong support system of family, relatives, neighbors, and close friends, who help them cope up.
Making money
Providing for a family, while at the same time attending to the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual welfare of its members, is a 24/7 job, one without vacation or sick leaves or the option of quitting or even burning out. It’s just money, but it has the power to make or break a family or leave a permanent mark on the children, as they grow up.
It’s just money, but it can keep you up all night, drive you crazy worrying about where to get it to bring food to the table, get the children to school, give them every opportunity to make it in this world on their own, not to mention to settle the bills and debts. In taking on the task of making money for the family, these single mothers are also burdened with worry and guilt over having to leave their children while they are working.
Beth and Hannah, both of whom have been single mothers since 2007, share that they’ve turned to online selling on top of their main job to help make ends meet. All this is for the opportunity for their children to study at prestigious schools and be given what they need or as much of it as possible.
Yet, they feel ashamed for their shortcomings when it comes to raising their children.
For Sharon, the most difficult decision she had to make was to move her family back to the province. “My daughter wasn’t able to enroll this semester,” she sighs. “As a mother, it’s very painful for me to not be able to support my children. That’s why we decided to stay in Marinduque, because at least even if the salary is low, there is money coming into our pockets.”
The silver lining
But despite these hardships, these single mothers are not alone. With them are their unwavering faith and their strong support system from their family, relatives, neighbors, and close friends that help them cope with the ever-growing pressure.
Being able to share their stories with the people around them allows them to see what they do and what shingle motherhood entails from the perspective of other people. Sometimes, it makes them proud.
Attitudes toward single parenthood have shifted, with single mothers getting more recognition because they fight alone in the interest of their children.
“People admire how I’ve been able to cope with the situation even if I’m a single mom. Old friends and classmates look up to me now. They saw how I started and how I managed to keep going every day,” says Sharon.
Nothing can make these moms more content than to know that their children have grown up to be happy and successful individuals. Just seeing a child walk up the stage to receive his or her college diploma is a moment powerful enough to bring light to the darkest phases of a woman’s journey through single parenthood.
But being a mother, with or without a father to share in the many tasks of parenthood, is a grueling journey that demands self-sacrifice. It is the very nature of parenthood, of motherhood particularly.
The struggles of these single mothers, who have sacrificed a great deal of their personal wellbeing and happiness, must remind us of the selflessness of our own mothers. It’s not enough to honor them for a day. Every day we are alive, making it in this world, exploring, discovering, surviving, thriving in it, is a tribute to the mother who cared for, raised, sacrificed for, and loved us.
Happy Mother’s Day to all our strong mothers out there!