In the Philippine setting, grandparents are part of life, and to many Filipinos, they are part of the household too.
They are the default second parents who take care of ‘apos’ (grandchildren) — even if that task is not assigned to them — especially if they live in the same city.
They are the unofficial fairy godparents who shower their grandchildren with goodness and goodies — including expensive gifts — especially if they live a thousand kilometers away.
They live a hundred roles to their grandchildren to give them a grand time, often believing that being a disciplinarian is not one of them. They have become mentors, friends, counselors, confidants, and if they can afford it, willing sponsors to educational, sports, cultural, and even entrepreneurial endeavors. Some of them even become “partners-in-mischief” with their grandchildren, finding childish delight in schemes to skirt a parent’s house rules.
To many children, grandparents give substance to family history, a role that bridges the gap between generations. Those who are articulate and can remember many details leave behind valuable spoken history that will travel through the next generations, and even become folk tales of a family.
For all the roles grandparents play, they occupy a special place in the hearts of their children’s children and “play a high-level role in the emotional and behavioral development of children,” a study showed. In return, grandparents find a priceless relationship with the young members of the future generation that make them feel relevant — and loved.
Perhaps the most valuable lesson that grandparents teach the young is loyalty to family. For the love they feel for their “apos” has been described by many of them as “forever,” “as deep as the ocean,” and “a feeling you will get only if you become a grandparent.”
The world recognizes the importance of this special group of people and thus Grandparents Day is celebrated in many countries on different dates. In the Philippines and in the United States, it is celebrated today, Sept. 11.
In the United States, the observation started in 1978. In the Philippines, there are scant reports on the official observation of Grandparents Day, only a mention that it started “sometime in 1987.” It is celebrated every second Sunday of September.
Filipinos do not need to be made aware that there is a special day to honor grandparents. It is in our culture to respect our elders, and even raising one’s voice to them is considered a disrespectful act that will attract disappointed glances from onlookers. And need we say that it is considered an honor to be a grandparent’s favorite? Also, many adult children consider it a blessing — and a responsibility — to have elderly parents live the rest of their lives in their homes.
Ever since the special day was declared in 1987, families followed the observance with enthusiasm, overwhelming restaurants, parks and malls, to spend time with Lolo and Lola.
“Grandparents and children have a special connection that is proven to both make grandparents live longer, and also make children more emotionally resilient. Grandparents Day is an opportunity to treasure that connection,” a website on grandparents’ concerns said.