Online exhibit takes audiences through an immersive journey of the ups and downs of manic depression
Multidisciplinary artist Jasper Castro launches her first solo exhibit online aptly called “The Artist is Alive.” Curated by Raymond Tribdino, the virtual exhibition invites art enthusiasts into an immersive visual and ASMR hybrid experience.
The online gallery is best experienced through a desktop or a large screen, and with a pair of headphone, as it incorporates paintings with recorded spoken word poetry. Through this multidimensional rendering, both the audience and artist are looking and hearing the same thing in the most intimate setup, bringing their psyche to the same plane. With this extreme empathy, Jasper hopes to connect and befriend art consumers as she handholds them through the showcase to listen to her deepest darkest secrets.
How do you make friends?On her first day at school, her mother advised: Smile! But that didn’t work and she was bullied. In college, she discovered a technique herself, “start with a secret.” She would make friends with random girls by talking about crushes. Opening up on the get-go creates a safe space where others could open up themselves.
The presentation acts as a positive space with the artist completely baring her heart and her secrets to the world. By taking the first step, she hopes that the audience, too, would trust her as they dive in, and attempt to find healing together.
Everyone needs to heal. The exhibit comes at the tailend of a pandemic that has left almost everyone with surprising and unwelcome self-discoveries about the limits of mental health.
Diagnosed with bipolar disorder, Jasper discovered the limit of her own mental wellbeing in her early 20s. A series of heartbreaks led to yearslong clinical depression that stole a big part her life. She and her doctor agreed that the blow-up was a long time coming, as symptoms for the disorder had been present since she was a suicidal four-year-old. It was held off for a long time partly because of her consistent dedication to the arts.
When Jasper finally got out of her depression, she found she was an entirely different person, as though she was reborn. She didn’t love this new self with her larger frame, and new somber personality, but she understood that these changes had been necessary for her to survive a difficult phase.
In her series of artworks, the 28-year-old artist finds her way back to loving herself, embracing every mood, and every facet of her personality. She lays it all out in the open, confessing desires, frustrations, dreams amplified by triggers, and episodes of mania and depression. Laid out before her, she can find the beauty in them and despite the temptation for self-loathing; here she learns to forgive herself.
Pushing the limit of expression and getting her message across, Jasper combines her two main mediums—painting and poetry. The audio and visual cues then propel her audience to a destination beyond color and words, serving as coordinates to a third space where both artist and audience share the same mind.
Among the pieces in her collection are Trigger, which encapsulates the moment that could lead to a mental downward spiral, and A Beta Loves to Fight, which captures that second before a big angry blow-up. In it, anger is rendered in its complex contradictions, soft fluffy afro decked in metallic, harsh shadows on a gentle face, and a fighting fish primed to fight housed in bubble gum.
‘As an artist, you’re perpetually plagued with insecurity and self doubt, so having that support system both as a driving force for your career and for mental fortitude is irreplaceable. And also, in an odd way, because I’m not just relying on my feeble self, anything is possible.’
Also intriguing in Jasper works is Heaven’s Looking Down, examines a more subtle trigger that’s harder to pinpoint—disappointment. So is Honest Oasis, where Jasper confesses her sexuality and loneliness, two strong emotions amplified during her manic episodes. “The Artist is Alive” also finds its essence in this artwork, the raw, naked attempt to unify a fragmented self.
There’s The Magic of My Boston Ferns, which explores creative manic insomnia, delights in how it can be a creative power, but doesn’t discount the price to pay, and My Purple Heart, whichis about coping with the aftermath of rejection.
Spiral of Threes describes the repetitive, cyclical nature of depression, which comes with warnings all the time, and yet remains unstoppable as it devours, like crawling poison ivy eating away an immobile house, a pinned down body. Hatch, on the other hand,tackles finding solace in sleep and learning to shut everything down.
The series ends withLabor Bae, which uses the transdisciplinary artists’ fascination with nature and honeybees to talk about the formidable task of embracing one’s vocation, whether as a floral-scented short-lived spring bee, an autumn bee that lives long but spends most of its life huddled in the hive for winter, or as a long-lasting lonely Queen Bee powerful yet damned to spend her whole life in the hive.
“I’m really bad at contests in general. I brought slow drying watercolors to oil pastel poster contests. And my art was always a little niche as a child—I never really drew cartoons or anime,” intimates Jasper.
But when she was in fourth grade, at a school trip, she went to contemporary finger painter Rafael Pacheco’s home. “He held an art contest, gave us all oil pastels, and I battled it out with the other grade- and high schoolers,” she recalls. “Looking back the painting sucked, but somehow he saw through it, and I won.”
Victory at the contest struck Jasper. “I don’t think some people understood why I won, the youngest in that contest, but I felt seen and affirmed, and it’s part of what propelled me to today.”
Jasper worked on the collection of artworks for two years. She took the chance to put out her work on the internet as soon as she completed Labor Bae. “I just finished the biggest piece and the opportunity was there with sir Raymund super keen to help,” she explains. “The stars aligned and I ran out of excuses. My art is really only complete with an audience and it was just the right time to go for it.”
“I’m just a bee in the hive. I couldn’t have made all this honey without the people who believe in me. It’s the same learning from my mental health journey; there are times, you need to trust other people more than yourself. It’s a humbling experience that takes a load off your shoulders and also fills you with gratitude,” she says.
“As an artist, you’re perpetually plagued with insecurity and self doubt, so having that support system both as a driving force for your career and for mental fortitude is irreplaceable. And also, in an odd way, because I’m not just relying on my feeble self, anything is possible.”
Asked about what’s next for her, “I’m working on having a physical exhibit one way or another—through grant applications, looking for patrons, and finding collaborators. The pieces are show-ready so it’s just a matter of finding the right for space.”
“When ‘The Artist is Alive’ does relaunch, I’ll make it an even richer experience! I plan on refining the auditory experience, creating more pieces, and adding more senses engaged,” she beams.
“Art can be classist, and I just want to circumvent that in a small way because everyone deserves to enjoy art. It’s most important to me that my art finds people, not just the art lovers in the galleries or those who can afford to buy my physical paintings. My dream, apart from a sustainable art career, is that my I get a few cathartic cries from my audience. Free therapy!”
The digital art spectacle is now live at www.theartistisalive.online for the public to access for free.