THE VIEW FROM RIZAL
Dr. Jun Ynares
“How does it feel to get older?”
That was the question a number of friends and peers in the local government sector asked me a few days ago as I celebrated another birthday last week. They said they wanted to know how it felt for me to be getting closer to the half-century mark referred to by many as “the golden years.”
I have been getting that question at every birthday since I turned 40 several years ago. It appears that that when one hits 40, people presume that the aging process has all of a sudden accelerated.
“I do not know,” has been my usual reply. People would always be surprised by my reply. “What do you mean,” they would ask. My answer:
“Because I do not feel I am getting older; I am getting younger.”
I explained that answer to friends for several years. I told them that with more than four decades tucked under my belt, I believe I am old enough to know that the direction of “growing” is a decision one can make. One can either “grow old” or “grow young.”
I pointed out that I am not being philosophical. I was, in fact, just being pragmatic. Just being practical.
I said that I agree with the saying that “age is just a state of mind.” That being the case, what one then needs to do is “manage” the “state of mind.”
Here is my idea of what a state of mind that’s “old” is like.
It’s “old” when what fills the mind are mental are emotional “cobwebs.”
“Inaagiw ang utak,” as our elders in Rizal would say.
Based on my experience over the past 40-plus years, I learned that there are three mental and emotional “cobwebs.”
First, despair.
Second, cynicism.
Third, callousness.
Despair is when the mind and heart refuse to consider the possibility that there could be a better, brighter tomorrow – or at least to imagine that there will be a “tomorrow.”
Cynicism is when the mind and heart refuse to look at the possibility that people and the world are capable of being – and doing – good.
Callousness is when the mind and heart refuse to be open to the possibility that one can find and experience the reality of human love, with all its limitations and defects.
“Cobwebs” are the product of the many emotional pains one goes through in life – pains that one allows to fester; to remain; to leave wounds that hardly heal. It is good to know that the healing of emotional wounds – even when inflicted by others – do not depend on others.
Life has taught us that the healing process is in one’s hand. The wounds may leave a permanent mark. When healed, the mark points to a spot in oneself that has been made stronger by life’s many adversities.
“Growing young” with the passing of the years require one to constantly “clean” the “cobwebs.”
When the heart and mind are rid of them, one finds the three things that help one grow and stay young.
First, vibrant hope.
Second, a vast reserve of physical and emotional energies.
Third, a large cup filled with joy and the capacity to accept and love others.
Here’s the lesson: to be young is to believe that the future holds much promise of something brighter and better.
To be young is to possess the physical and emotional energies to pursue that promise; to carry out that pursuit in a way that’s happy and filled with love for, and acceptance of, others and oneself.
Last Friday, I celebrated another birthday.
I am grateful to God for 40-plus years, despite the pains I have had to face. Well, maybe, especially for those pains.
After all, those pains are nothing more than scars which mark the spot in my being that have been made stronger by the wounds that come with living life to the fullest – in the service of others.
Last Friday, I felt younger than I have ever been.
Thank you to all who shared the joy of that special day with me.
Special thanks to those who have decided to “grow young” with me.
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