The value of waiting


            Because we live in a fast-paced world driven by advanced technology with almost everything at the tip of your finger, it is really hard to cultivate patience. And waiting becomes a burden. Out of curiosity, I once asked my former staff, a millennial herself, to share with me her thoughts on waiting. Here is Abi’s lament:

            “I hate waiting. Why would I? I grew up in a generation where everything is instant. Instant coffee, instant noodles, fast food chains booming all around. I was not spoiled by my parents. I did not get everything I wanted when I was younger but I understood fair enough that time is more than the old adage 'Time is gold'. For me, time is a precious commodity, it may actually even mean life. What I can do in a short period of time, I will get it done. I hate procrastinating. If I have ample time to do tasks assigned to me, I can give it my best shot. From childhood onwards, I understood myself that I am the type of person who wouldn’t wait.

“However, time went by swiftly, and year after year, scenario after another pushed me  to situations where I had no choice but to wait. Some things I’ve waited for produced results but not always to my liking. At times, it seemed like waiting would take forever and out of control.  I would keep waiting wondering what would be the result.

“There goes my travel bucket list, my career plans, my personal life schedule and my spiritual goals. I gave my best in these areas of my life, but I always ended up waiting. Some things in my life’s to-do list were getting rejected  repeatedly. Who knows whether this year or next year I’ll already be granted to try some of the things I really like for the first time.

“I waited and waited. When the anticipated outcome happened, I was even caught off guard, plastered with surprise. I found myself mesmerized. Still, my waiting list contains unfulfilled expectations. I often wonder,  “If it did happen in this lifetime, will I be content with the result and be convinced that it was all worth the wait after all?”

“I remember my sickly years, when I was diagnosed to have blood disorder.  I often thought back then, “Will I ever get cured?” I was preparing  for an early demise but my faith and this life took a plot twist. I got well after twelve arduous years.. Will it be realistic for me to hope that eventually all the things I have been waiting for will follow the success story of my cure?  In reality, life in this world will always be hard, unfair and saddening. And the words I have always mastered all these years are these – endure, be patient and keep a waiting attitude (Micah 7:7), but these words are the hardest to apply in life. My conclusion after all the situations I have been into is that – “the more I hated waiting, the more I needed to wait.”

“And no matter how hard I evade waiting, waiting will always be a part of me. Why not? It happens from as simple as meeting a friend. Experience says my friend will come later but I - the natural punctual person that I am will still come first. Time and again, I will have to go back to this one thing I hate the most – waiting.”

            Observing the young generation and how easy it is for them to get irritated over a slow internet connection reminds me of the good old days when one gets to enjoy the serenity of time and enjoy every moment that slowly passes by. My generation had been taught to be patient, with a belief that things will resolve itself in time. Faced with a difficult waiting situation, I was told to master four important words, “this too will pass.” 

            I lived in an era where getting a telephone land line meant months of waiting. Imagine my culture shock when I did my masters study in Massachusetts, USA and all it took was a short notice to have my number installed in my student apartment. My college classmates from the provinces had to wait weeks to process fund transfer from the provinces. When my parents migrated in the USA, I didn’t get to see them nor talk with for quite some time because of the prohibitive cost of communication. News did not get reported in real time in most instances.

Abi’s story made me realize that today’s generation faces a stiffer hurdle in facing the challenges of waiting. In these days of instant glorification, the benefits of technology and social media are taking its toll on the mental preparedness of our youth. No wonder there are so many stories about mental breakdown and issues among the young ones. I hope our youth will learn from history and remember that Rome was not built in a day.

No matter how hard we evade waiting, things will not always happen at the speed of our expectations or timeline. Life will always have its own way to teach us that some of the valuable things in life can be enjoyed when not in haste. They say the sweetest fruit is the one ripened from the tree, not something that was forced to bloom. There are things and people worth waiting for. This quote from Charles Stanley is appropriate: “our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object or person we’re waiting for.”

 (Benel Dela Paz Lagua is former Executive Vice President and Chief Executive Development Officer at the Development Bank of the Philippines. He is an active Finex member and advocate of SME development financing.)