THE VIEW FROM RIZAL
Dr. Jun Ynares
Is “loving” the same as “being in love”?
Do we really love “from the bottom of our heart”?
I have been asked these questions many times. On the eve of Valentine’s Day, let me share how I would answer them.
Our first understanding of love is that it is a “sensation.” We learned that when we were babies. Our mothers’ gentle touch and caress, light kisses, affectionate gaze gave us that sensation we later labeled as love.
Then, we understood love as an “emotion.” We believed that this emotion resided in our hearts even after doctors and psychologists have explained to us that the feeling comes from that part of the human brain called hypothalamus.
Perhaps, we should now learn to say, “I love you from the bottom of my hypothalamus” instead of “heart.”
Love is in the brain and not the heart, as the saying goes – among scientists and doctors, at least.
That romantic is the result of the production of a certain hormone called “dopamine.”
When dopamine is released in the brain, we experience the feeling of pleasure.
That must be the reason why the feeling of romantic love gives people a “high.”
Could it be that the “high” triggered by the release of dopamine in the brain is what we refer to as being “in love”?
Could it be that we have been relying on hormonal secretions in certain parts of the brain to stay “in love”?
I am not sure we have full control of all our brain functions, much less the frequency, intensity and direction of the secretion of hormones. Should we base our loving relationships then on what is never certain?
What if we wake up one morning with no dopamine going to the hypothalamus?
Some would say, “I would still love that person despite of all the faults and imperfections.”
That means this person has chosen “to love” rather than just to be “in love.”
Love then becomes a decision and not just an emotion. The loving relationship would no longer be dependent on dopamine in the hypothalamus. It would now be based on the functions on a higher level of the human brain – the cerebral cortex, the part of our brain where we think logically and make rational choices and decisions.
I have two models of love.
The first is our Lord Jesus Christ. The second is our national hero, Dr. Jose Rizal.
Both chose death. Both opted to suffer for their mission. Both gave up their lives for what and for whom they love.
I doubt if Christ, while being scourged, made to carry the cross and made to hang on it enjoyed the pleasure of dopamine on the brain. He endured excruciating physical and emotional pain beyond human imagination. Yet, he willingly gave up his life “so that we may live.
That love was a decision made in the cerebral cortex of his human brain.
The same must be true with Dr. Rizal. Alone in his cell on the eve of his execution, he must have reflected on his own pain and suffering and the unfairness of the entire situation. I guess he got no dopamine shot in the hypothalamus that evening. He wrote the immortal “Mi Ultimo Adios” based on will.
It took the power of the cerebral cortex to make him take that plume, bring out a sheet of paper, and by the light of the gas lamp, compose a poetic masterpiece.
Being in love is an emotion. Loving is a decision.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.
My wish for all of you is that this special day would give your hypothalamus extra shots of dopamine. I also pray that beyond Valentine’s Day, you would all let the cerebral cortex help you to stay “in love” by rationally deciding to do so. *For feedback, please email it to [email protected] or send it to Block 6 Lot 10 Sta. Barbara 1 cor. Bradley St., Mission Hills Subd., Brgy. San Roque, Antipolo City, Rizal.