IT’S THE SMALL THINGS
The days have seemingly turned more monotonous as of late, with spikes of anxiety that rise simultaneous with the number of cases. For some reason in the past week, deaths of loved ones of some of my nearest and dearest have increased as well – none of which however though, were COVID-19 related. Then, questions cloud our mind – the kind we wish we had a definite answer to. When will it peak? When will it end? Will we ever feel a hundred percent safe outside again? Will we ever know life without testing and COVID-19? When will our children be able to resume physical schooling? The list goes on. Whatever you are feeling these days, know that your emotions – as unstable or stable as they may seemingly be – are valid. Undoubtedly, there are many heartbreaking things happening around the world today. So much so that our sheer existence and good health are already the biggest of blessings.
I remember when I heard about the Taliban take over in Afghanistan the other week, my heart sunk and stopped. All of a sudden, I was grateful for where I am, and not having to be running and fearing for my life, and that of my loved ones. Most especially as a woman, my heart shattered knowing that the lives of women in Afghanistan changed over night as they were stripped of the rights women have in other parts of the world.
I was thankful for those rights, and suddenly reflected on how blessed I am to have taken those for granted since I was born. In other words, as oblivious as this sounds, I never thought twice about them as I never knew life without them. So to just think about how those have been taken away in a heartbeat is still unimaginable to me, but in the same light, has placed so much into perspective. It reminded me about how futile everything else I may complain about truly is, and how I must journey on my everyday with an attitude of gratitude come what may.
So in this time of uncertainty, what really is there for us to do? Has hope turned into a pill of poison that we are seemingly clinging on to, rather than accepting reality? Has our choice to view life through rosy spectacles turned into a coping mechanism that has altered our perception of the truth? To be honest, I cannot tell you my answer for certain because I myself am unsure. But what I know is that we can continue to try. To try harder to be kinder and more understanding – to and of ourselves, and others. We can try to be and stay strong; to be more resilient, to be braver and more courageous. To speak our minds and truly let others know how we feel. To seek inspiration through creativity and/or a simple hobby to allow time to pass by productively without needing to think so much. We can try to be more compassionate and empathetic to the many plights people are going through, and the many roads and crossroads they are traversing.
And as we continuously try and strive for a brighter tomorrow, we can only hope that the clock continues to tick no matter how imperceptible and unpredictable. After all, settling and refusing to try will ensure that nothing will change – around us, and even within us. So why don’t we choose to carry on and try? Even while tears are falling, even while our hearts may be breaking, and even when we feel downtrodden, helpless and hopeless. For as long as we try, there is a possibility for change. And for as long as we never loose faith in ourselves, that notion of possibility will always be around, and that is what we need most at this point.