Courtesy is a familiar word among us, Filipinos. ‘Magalang’ (respectful) is one of the strong values that keeps our culture distinct. No matter one’s age, we tend to say “po” many times when talking to a person of authority or seniority – to show respect. We avoid getting into an argument with an older person as “answering back” – or giving a curt response – may be construed as disrespectful. When eating within sight of another person, we have to say – "kain tayo" – which is a direct invitation to partake of the meal, but in this case, is said only as a matter of courtesy.
Although many still perform the gestures of common courtesy, there is a need to remind people of its value because many are only going back to the outside world now. And they have only socialized through online connections where the only form of courtesy is to wait for one's turn to talk.
The dictionary defines courtesy as the “showing of politeness in one's attitude and behavior toward others.”
There are many courtesies that follow the definition and are considered common because these are practiced by people from many cultures. Among these are for men to hold the door for women, giving up one’s seat to a woman or older person in the bus or train, or even just saying “thank you” or “please.”
Courtesy is second nature to many people likely because they see their elders do the same, like standing aside to allow an older person or a woman to walk out of the elevator first. Or offering an older person with only one item to purchase to check out ahead of you in the supermarket.
In today’s online interactions, it is also considered courteous to reply to text messages and to emails one receives. It does not matter if the sender is younger or senior. Every message deserves the courtesy of a reply, even one that gives a statement and does not directly ask for a comment.
It is also considered courteous or polite to say “no” when one really cannot accept an invitation. In articles about Filipino culture, it is often mentioned that Filipinos avoid saying “no” because of the Filipino value known as “hiya” (shame). Saying “no” is seen as “shameful” or it might make the one extending the invitation “lose face.”
So the reply is either “let’s see” (bahala na), or “yes” without really meaning to go which is considered by all – regardless of culture –as “inconsiderate” because it is setting up the other person for disappointment.
Most people have not interacted face to face with other people for about two years. That’s a lot of time to forget that courtesy is not only an important element in our culture, it is a crucial factor that continues relationships, be those personal or commercial.
The Americans have a National Day for Courtesy celebrated on March 21. Perhaps Filipinos, who are diligent in practicing the value of “magalang,” should set a day to remind each other of the value of courtesy, or of common courtesies that are on their way to be forgotten.