CHITCHAT OVER COFFEE: Respect begets respect

Published June 28, 2022, 6:59 AM

by Manila Bulletin Entertainment

Dennis Padilla (right) and son Leon Barretto (Instagram)

By Zee Carvill

Having to read a note of Leon Barretto to his father, Dennis Padilla,  that clearly states how he feels that it’s time to step up for his sisters is a bold move a brother can actually do.  And with that, I can only say that though there are always two sides to the coin, I cannot help but show deep empathy towards Leon, for publicly voicing out his sentiments – in the most respectful way possible. 



Greeting a parent on a special occasion is a gift, a privilege, is a blessing… it’s not supposed to be imposed, nor feel like it’s a child’s obligation to do so.  To fail to greet a parent is not a crime.  If they do fail to greet you though, maybe it is best to wonder and know the reason why, rather than take things publicly that may eventually make it seem as if you raised disrespectful and ingrate children – unless of course you did(?).  I guess, in my opinion, Dennis should have just gone straight to his kids than used social media as an avenue to make his kids look bad – intentionally or not.  A parent shaming his kids publicly is done in bad taste.


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Let’s just remember these: 



ANAK
Do you remember the song, Anak by Filipino folk singer Freddie Aguilar?  It was released in 1978 and even became an international hit, to a point that it was translated into 27 languages.  The singer and song composer wrote that song of remorse and apology to and for his parents.   After leaving their home at barely 18, thinking he can manage already on his own, unfortunately, he got himself into gambling and 5 years later went back home.  He went back home and asked for forgiveness from his parents, who welcomed him with open arms. After his father read the lyrics of “Anak”, the two became closer. The homecoming proved timely as his father died not long after.

Leon Barretto

MAGULANG ANG MAGULANG?

Filipinos are known for having strong and close family ties. They place high regard and put importance on their family before anything else.  And this is how it should always be, I would say.  However, there are also these parents who would, unfortunately, take advantage of this culture to a point that they would “intentionally or not” make their children feel that they are forever in debted to whatever the parents gave them.  This is when things become too toxic.

Dennis Padilla

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I guess there has been a stigma about why people act the way they do, the same way as to why it needed Leon to step up to be able to send his message across.   Truth be told, I’m not AT ALL for the bolder attempt, and move of Julia Barretto once to change surname many years ago.   Was that an emancipation in law?

What is emancipation in law?

Legally emancipated means that the parents and child have gone through the court and a judge has declared that the parents have surrendered the right to care, custody, and earnings of the child and have renounced parental duties.

/ɪˌmæn·səˈpeɪ·ʃən/ the act of freeing a person from another person’s control: To emancipate is defined as to set someone free. When a child is freed from the control of his parents, this is an example of emancipation.

Republic Act 6809 Art. 236. 

Emancipation shall terminate parental authority over the person and property of the child who shall then be qualified and responsible for all acts of civil life, save the exceptions established by existing laws in special cases.



Bottom line:  Dennis though his emotions are valid, given the fact that his children are personalities – and whatever he says may have an impact on their reputations, he should have given them that respect.  He is still the parent.  And out of respect to his new and now family, and children, it would have been better to sort this out privately.  Respect begets respect. 



Speaking of this, Children vs Parent – Children did you even know your rights?  And did you also know when you should be grateful for the privileges you actually have?

CHILDREN’S RIGHTS VS PRIVILEGE
Most children though are not aware of the difference between their rights and what privileges they are supposedly blessed with. So let me share these:   As per the Presidential Decree No. 603: The Child and Youth Welfare Code, Art. 3 & 4. Rights of the Child.   Here are some items on the list:

And if parents have duties to their children, did you also know that children have duties as well?

CHILDREN’S DUTIES: 

Yes, you children to have duties to your parents to this universe: 

It is your duty:
1) To strive to lead an upright and virtuous life in accordance with the tenets of his religion, the teachings of his elders and mentors, and the biddings of a clean conscience.  
Q:  Have you been doing everything in accordance with your family’s principles?

2) To Love, respect, and obey your parents, and cooperate with them in the strengthening of the family.   

Q:  Have you been doing things to keep the family together, or creating things to break you all apart?

3) To extend to his brothers and sisters his love, thoughtfulness, and helpfulness, and endeavor with them to keep the family harmonious and united
Q:  Have you been treating your siblings and family members right?  Have you been setting good examples as wee?


4) To exert his utmost to develop his potentialities for service, particularly by undergoing a formal education suited to his abilities, in order that he may become an asset to himself and to society
Q:  Given that you came from a middle-class family who happens to have been working hard, have you been doing your part to maximize the privileges extended to you for growth and in preparation for the future? 
5) To respect not only his elders but also the customs and traditions of our people.
Q:  Have you been respectful?

So before we all act too empowered and entitled, let’s all remember the importance of RESPECT. 

 
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