I left no suitcase in Berlin
By Amb. Theresa Dizon-De Vega
“Mama is going to Berlin,” I said to my daughter Montserrat on a cold Brussels winter evening in late December 2018. I had just received word that my nomination to be Philippine Ambassador to the Federal Republic of Germany was approved, subject to confirmation by the Commission on Appointments.
Berlin. To this day as I sort all manner of personal items for shipping to yet another work destination—the flotsam and jetsam of a diplomat’s life—I still cannot fully grasp that Berlin has been my home for over two years. Even as I traversed its districts and entered its imposing buildings, I cannot truly, genuinely say I know Berlin.
Perhaps I have been able to peel off some of its functional layers, having embarked on countless train rides from the Hauptbahnhof, criss-crossed Germany from the now closed Berlin-Tegel Airport to Frankfurt, Munich, Stuttgart, Saarbrucken, Bonn, Cologne, and other points beyond, dropped by Lindner to get my weekly German brot (bread) or to Vinh Loi for essential Asian cooking ingredients, people watched near Checkpoint Charlie, claimed my own special spot on the second floor of Dussman KulturKaufhaus, arguably one of the most enthralling book and audio stores in the world.
But I still do not know Berlin. And it is this lingering feeling that causes my heart to clench as I take the last few trips to and from the Philippine Embassy Chancery, a stone’s throw away from the Deutscher Bundestag (Parliament) among the clutch of new and old government buildings in the busy Mitte District in a near frantic bid to get everything in order before the big move.
In my last few weeks in the city, I made an obligatory return visit to the Berlin Mauer (Berlin Wall), perhaps its most iconic landmark. As my daughter and I chose some of the most colorful, most meaningful murals for Facebook and Instagram remembrances, I realized the truth of German romantic writer Jean Paul’s apt description of the city, “Berlin ist mehr ein Weltteil als eine Stadt (Berlin is more a part of the world than a city).”
So I cling to the sights, sounds, tastes, and colors of Berlin, memories which I can take with me anywhere I go. Its images, all stored in the cloud, will always evoke particular feelings and yearnings as distinctly Berlin as the rows of leafy, green linden trees along the very European boulevard of Unter der Linden, the classical music concerts at the Berlin Philharmonie, home of the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra, and the wondrously distracting Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas market) at the Gendarmenmarkt. There are the museums and more museums. Berlin even has a section of the city called Museum Island. And then there’s more: Discussing grid maps of cities with the German proprietor of a neighborhood antiquariat (secondhand book store), cruising along the River Spree, that first taste of German beer or, in my case, the milder half-beer, half-citrus concoction called the Radler.
So I cling to the sights, sounds, tastes, and colors of Berlin, memories which I can take with me anywhere I go. Its images will always evoke particular feelings and yearnings as distinctly Berlin as the rows of leafy, green linden trees along the very European boulevard of Unter der Linden.
But also Simbang Gabi masses with the growing Filipino-German community at the Katholische Kirchengemeinde Heilig Geist (Church of the Holy Spirit) in Bayernallee and small talk with newly-arrived migrant Filipinos in Deutschland. Exchanging messages and engaging via Zoom with Filipino nurses and other frontliners during the pandemic.
Yes, I concede, I still do not know Berlin. And that’s fine by me because I have the luxury of revisiting layers upon layers of memories. Marlene Dietrich once said “I still keep a suitcase in Berlin.” I don’t have any luggage stored anywhere in the city, but I have a lifetime’s worth of photos and videos in my trusty cloud storage.
Berlin, ich liebe dich.
Editor’s Note: Ma. Theresa Dizon-De Vega is a career diplomat and lawyer. She was Philippine ambassador to the Federal Republic of Germany from 2019 to 2021. (She wrote this tribute to the city on her last weekend on German soil). She is currently the ambassador-designate of the Philippines to the Republic of Korea.