IT’S THE SMALL THINGS
Alex Eduque
This month of August is buwan ng Wika – the month we celebrate our language, and in our unique case, our many dialects because the Philippines is much more than one monolithic language and culture. In our household alone, we have native Tagalog, Bisaya, Bicolano, Ilonggo, and Waray speakers. Being exposed to a multitude of dialects growing up, I was always fascinated by their similarities and differences. So much so, that I myself speak Tagalog with a twang of a Bisaya-Ilonggo mix because of the household staff who had a hand in raising me. In fact, I speak Bisaya with as much ease as I do English and Tagalog.
I was raised in a household where the value of charity always beginning at home was instilled firmly in us. This means that our household help is family. We were taught that we were privileged to have help at home, and that we are to treat them with respect, dignity, and honor at all times. We are responsible as well for their safety, welfare, and health, for as long as they are a part of the household. In the case of those who have retired, even after. Although the quarantine period has changed so much, values are some of the things that have remained and stayed in place. I have always been close to the staff here at home, and in my books, they are second to none. But during the past five months in lockdown, I have gained so much more respect for each and every one of them. Their love language of service is most definitely parallel to none.
At a time so uncertain, it would be totally understandable for them to choose to be with their families over us – especially those with young children and relatives. However, most of them chose to stay and adhere to the strict protocols that the lockdown has imposed on us. They have not seen their own families, and have not left our side since March. This huge sacrifice, I hope they realize, has not gone unnoticed. This gesture and genuine act of kindness is one that we will remember forever. They have made our everyday so much easier at a time when sanity is most valuable, patience is tested, and stress is high. Our comfort has always been their priority even when they themselves cannot be with their own loved ones. Not once have I heard them complain – in fact, they understand. They comprehend the situation wholeheartedly. They know the risks that commuting and exposure entail. And that in and of itself is testament to the importance of educating them rightly, and treating your house help with utmost care and respect.
When I talked to one of them earlier today asking if she was longing to go back to the province to see her children, she told me that while she missed them a lot, she did not want to risk bringing back any virus or germs to them. She likened the experience of not seeing them for a while to that of being an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) and she said she has set her mind to be such for the time being. This placed so much into perspective for me. Here are some of the most selfless people right before my very eyes and in my midst. Sure, they work for us, and yes, they are compensated generously. But, they have never made us feel like we are a burden to their happiness. And that outlook in and of itself is a gift to cherish. They love and serve with all their heart.
I chose to write about this because household staff as of lately have been getting a lot of unnecessary flack. At a time when some household help and drivers are being blamed for spreading the virus, and are seen by some as the propagators, I think we ought to take a step back and shift the lens. After all, many times, they live and work according to their employees orders and rules. They are the ones who step out to do the groceries when we are too scared to do it ourselves. Without hesitation, they run the errands and put themselves out there at risk because we are too paranoid to expose our own selves. We, who have house help, are undeniably at a position of privilege to be able to afford such a luxury, especially at a time like this.
So instead of complaining and pointing fingers, let us all take a moment to pray for their continued good health, to ensure that they too are taking their safety precautions and practicing proper hygiene. Let us applaud our very own frontliners and our silent heroes – they who see us at our best, but also, a lot of times, at our worst, in ways no one else does. They who say nothing when we have lost all our marbles at them. They too are human, and they too have feelings. It is a two-way street, but at this moment, we give thanks for and to them. I, most especially, say thank you – to our house help who have shined even brighter these past few months. Isa kayong karangalan. Mabuhay ang kasambahay!