Trump talks to Putin

Published April 23, 2018, 12:00 AM

by Francine Ciasico


Floro L. Mercene
Floro L. Mercene

By Floro L. Mercene

The pace of damaging developments swamping President Donald Trump is staggering.

The Mueller probe looking into Trump’s collusion with Russia is getting clearer by the day. Two beautiful but dangerous women have come out in the open to expose their sexual relations with the orange-haired Lothario.

Cambridge Analytica could be the last nail in Trump’s coffin.

With all his make-believe world crashing down around him, what do you think Trump’s next move will be?

Here is the answer, based on a hypothetical conversation between the beleaguered bohemian and the Russian KGB president.

Trump: “Hello Vlad, this is Donald, congratulations on your reelection.”

Putin: “Hello Comrade. Spassiba. Why are you calling? It is two o’clock in the morning here in Moscow.”

T: “I know, I know, but hey, Vlad, listen. I seem to be getting pummeled on all sides. Congress might impeach me any moment or I could be jailed.”

P: “I told you that son-of-a-b**ch Mueller will do you in. You should have listened to me to fire him as early as you can.”

T: “Yeh, I tried to, but my Republican colleagues advised me against it. That would be clear obstruction of justice.”

Putin: “Hmmm, and those tattle-tale women are sure pain in the neck. If only you had accepted that Ukranian model when you visited Moscow, these things would never have happened.”

T: “Thank you Vlad. But I was told you might blackmail me. Anyway, those are water under the bridge. I called to ask for some protection.”

P: “That Cambridge Analytica CEO was sure careless. I still have that nerve agent Novichok if you need to eliminate him.

T: Thanks again, but that’s too late now. Do you have a spare dacha in the Black Sea, with a Ukrainian beauty thrown in? Those morons can’t beat my IQ. I already wired my billions to the Cayman Islands.”

P: “Nyet, Donald. I made you President but you failed to put Hillary behind bars. You double-crossed me. Why don’t you wire a billion dollars into my offshore accounts? Maybe I’ll consider your request.”