MANILA, Philippines — Every Christmas and New Year, as parents, we go out of our way to make the Holidays as perfect and wonderful for our families as possible - the food, our homes, the gifts, everything is a reflection of how special they are and how much they mean to us.  However, while we’re running around getting everything ready for them to enjoy, we tend to forget that we’re just as special and should take care of our health and well being as much as theirs!  How can we be contented and able to enjoy along with them if we’re running down, tired, cranky and are not feeling or looking as good as we should?

Of course the answer is to somehow manage to stop expecting so much from ourselves, especially at this wonderful time of year when we’re supposed to be enjoying the time spent with our families instead of worrying about what people will think about the gifts we gave or the food we served, etc.  But this is definitely easier said than done!  So what can we do to make next year’s celebrations every bit as joyous for everyone, but not quite as stressful for ourselves?  These suggestions may seem a bit obsessive compulsive but experience shows that if you stick to it, it will work perfectly!

• Write it down while it’s fresh.  Many times, at the start of the season, we’re optimistic about our capabilities and underestimate the time and resources we have versus what we want to achieve.  Right now, while the memories are still fresh, sit down and write yourself a letter, either by hand or on the computer, telling yourself what difficulties you may have experienced this past Christmas and New Year and what you think can be done in the future to solve these problems.  Make sure that your letter clearly states why things got to this point – why didn’t you wrap earlier?  What were the other things that got in your way?  The more information you arm future you with, the better you’ll be able to find good solutions.

One woman started her letter to herself with, “It’s Christmas Day and I’m sitting on the floor of my room wrapping gifts and the party downstairs started over an hour ago!”  Reading that back to herself during the year and before the season got underway, you can imagine how she made darn sure that she gave herself ample time to wrap presents so that the next Christmas Day, she was downstairs when the guests arrived, all dressed up and ready to join the fun!

• Make a list and check it twice – or thrice.  Every year you tell yourself that you’ll start your Christmas shopping earlier.  I know I do, but real life gets in the way and I end up seeing to them later than I should have.  But how about this time, instead of a random “earlier” hovering in the air uselessly until it’s too late – again – you actually make yourself a schedule you can follow?  You’ll even find that it’s a very good way not to have to spend tons of money all at once at the end of the year.

A friend of mine said that at the end of the year, she lists down all the presents they gave, assumes this will be more or less correct for the coming year, and divides the total into 12 months. For example, if you have to give 36 main gifts and 12 smaller tokens, that divides up into three gifts a month to take care of and one small one.  Part of the fun is having relaxed discussions with your family about these gifts. They can give suggestions or tell you about interesting items they saw online.  If you want to help the needy at the same time, you can even spend a little time researching on foundations or orgs that offer gift items for sale.  Some of these places have beautiful, well-priced items that are handmade and that you can’t find anywhere else.  The gifts don’t even have to be purchased in any particular order.  In January, you can buy something for your Tita, your husband’s niece and your son’s teacher.

Some people work well with wrapping gifts ahead of time and just taping a little piece of paper to them saying who they’re for and what they are, and some people would do better to wait until, say November to start wrapping and tagging.  First of all, our memories may not be quite what they used to be and taped pieces of paper have been known to get waylaid, and you can end up with beautifully wrapped and ribboned items that you’re clueless about.  Better that you leave them unwrapped, with a note to yourself about who they’re for, and then when it’s time to get them prettily packaged, you’ll still be able to change your mind.

• Get organized.  A lot of the holiday stress comes from last-minute freaking out.  Where are the boxes?  Who borrowed my Scotch tape?  Did we forget to buy cellophane?  This is the sort of little thing that pushes up your blood pressure and takes away from what should be a pleasurable activity.

I took my time during the year and hunted down every single sheet of tissue paper, wrapping paper, rolls of ribbon, Scotch tape and double-sided tape (turns out there were over a dozen lying around), boxes, gift bags, solid and printed cellophane, money envelopes, gift tags and Christmas cards.  Now I have a special bin for all the paper and tissue, another one for ribbon, three bags of shredded paper (one red, one silver and one white – all courtesy of my dear friend Ana!) and an expandable plastic envelope bursting with gift tags of different colors and designs.  Every so often, when I’m not working while watching a video or TV, I punch eyelets into some of these tags and attach strips of double-sided tape to others.  It’s fun, it’s easy and it gives me one less thing to do at Christmas when I could be playing Uno with my kids or baking cookies!

• Decide on your special menus in advance.  If you’re the type who likes to cook for your family on special occasions, then you should begin noting what big deal meals you’ll be preparing for.  During the year when you’re not super busy, you can think up ambitious menus and plan how you can do them up Martha Stewart style.  Because you have more time to look up the best recipes for say, a crown roast of lamb, you’ll be able to decide what stuffing suits your family best, or research on where you can find a bottle of sherry vinegar.  If you start early enough, you may even be able to try out your new recipe once or twice before the event itself.

I know one person whose problem was that he never knew who was going to visit him on Christmas morning.  Sometimes just a handful, other times he got dozens of neighbors, relatives and godchildren he barely remembered!  So he embarked on a quest to find out which ensaimadas thawed best after being frozen and experimented on the perfect method and temperature to heat them up for quick serving.  When he had all the information he needed, he bought four dozen of them fresh, popped them into the freezer as soon as they were delivered – they were delivered free for such a large order – bought several boxes of hot chocolate from Pan de Manila (the best in town!) and when Christmas Day dawned, he was completely relaxed and ready for visitors.

The moral of the story is that happier parents do make happier families.  A little planning and effort can make your holiday season 2012 the best and most stress-free one ever!